Vanyel's Journal

Torn between worlds.
Many things have happened in the past several weeks, so allow me to be brief:

Shortly after the battle against Jenova was waged and won, I sent a message home, explaining that the mission had been taken care of. Naturally, I was expected to return, but... I requested leave so that I could further explore this odd little place called the Planet. It took some doing, but eventually, I managed to convince my people that it would be a good idea for someone to explore this world a little more. After all, this place has the same odd portals as our own world has.. and the one connection that seems to be tied in between the two are the Cetra.

Now, don't get me wrong; as far as I can tell, my race was not born from the Cetra, though it appears as though they did, at some point, pass through our world. However, we have them in old legends and folktales- stories that, I've noticed, are fairly similar to those that I've discovered here on this Planet. It's been a topic of interest on my world for centuries, and I have the chance to find answers about the Cetra (and the origins of our own people) at my fingertips.

However, I've run across several... complications since I've agreed to stay on here on the Planet.

First of course, there is the culture shock... I experienced it to some slight degree when I was staying in Nibelheim with the wizard Howl, but now that I walk the streets daily, it has hit me much more powerfully than before. This world is so different, almost chaotic compared to my life at home. I spend a good deal of time wondering how on earth everyone manages to get anything done in the course of a day, and in fact marvel when I manage to complete things. And I thought that different continents on the same world was bad.

Secondly, there is the stigma everyone on this world has against those with silver hair... that is, those with this kind of hair that is still obviously young. I've discovered very quickly to tuck my hair up under a hat, or to braid it back so that it's less noticeable. I've also been advised to attempt to use this world's makeup in order to make it appear as though my hair color isn't real, but I seem to have odd reactions to some of the things on this Planet, makeup included. That, and it seems rather ridiculous, all things considered.

And thirdly... well, there is the matter of Sindian. One of two Cetra that are alive today, and the only full-blooded one known to exist in our known universe.. with Miss Aeris as the second one, of course.

Even on a purely professional, objective point of view, he fascinates me. He has so much to tell, either about the world as it is now, or the things that he's seen, or the other Cetra who apparently still reside in this world's Lifestream..

And then there is the personal outlook on Sindi... It makes things, well, difficult.

I will only be approved to stay on this world for so long. If I take too long, my people will arrange for either a search party to come and collect me, or for those who might be "more qualified for research" on this world. But on the other hand, despite everything, I seem to find myself growing fonder of this world and its people...

It's a shame the majority of it doesn't feel the same way about me.

Ugh... see what I mean about the chaos on this Planet? It's starting to affect my writing. I can't seem to work out the garbled mess in my head even when I'm working it out in a journal. Perhaps some sleep will do me some good...

Current Mood: homesick